Are Most Of Us Actually Born To Be Average?

I have created this blog to ask the question am I born to be average? Ohhh, I hear you say another melo-dramatic question designed to help you convince yourself that "No, your not average. Your special, and you can be anything.... blah blah blah."
Well no, this isn't one of those blogs. Unfortunately I don't intend this blog to convince you of your worth, but I do intend to question mine (and maybe your) perspective on what you think you can and cant do..... More

All NEW POST's will appear after this post

A new year means new goals, new ambitions, and new desires. During this time, I often find that people get very reflective and start reflecting on the past, as well as imagining what their uncertain future may hold. I am not exempt from this process, and upon my reflecting I have made a decision to drastically move my career objectives in a new direction and into full time study in Psychology. Wow - the stress that comes with change.

Every two weeks we get a masseuse come in and give us massages...

Currently I’m in a great job with a web design company called blacksheepcreative.co.nz, and although every job has its pros and cons, I do have it pretty good here. The bosses are good and the studio has a pretty good working environment, which is important to me. Every two weeks we get a masseuse come in and give us massages (a perc I would have never expected and grown to love). We also get shouted a cafe breakfast every week while we go over the plans for the week and on top of this every two months or so the bosses take us all out and shout us to a coffee and movie, followed by Butter Chicken, one of my all time favorites.

...like an old friend you never see but when you do, you pick up straight from where you left off as if you had seen them just yesterday.

In fact theres a moment when I’m hungry and I sit down for a really good butter chicken. The moment when the amazing smells lingering around you like an old friend you never see but when you do, you pick up straight from where you left off as if you had seen them just yesterday.

Then as the anticipation is at an all time high and your dish comes out, you rip off a piece of the warm naan and dip it into that thick creamy sauce. Slowly lifting it to your mouth as if it is predestined, and your taste buds melt into heaven. It's in this moment, that very second that I understand and am convinced that there is a God. I always figured that God could have created us without taste buds, so how can you not believe in a God when butter chicken exists in this world, and we get to taste it?

When we begin to sacrifice direction and ambition at the hands of finances and obligations, this is what we call ‘The Rat Race’.

Still even with the butter chicken and good job, I still wasn’t very happy. This lead me to brainstorm about my future and what I really want in my day to day job. A lot of us, in fact most of us are not totally happy with our jobs, and just see it as a way to pay the bills. For after work and weekends are where life happens isn’t it? Wrong! By the time we die, we would have spent more than 30% of our lives (often more) working. Then once you take out sleep, that doesn’t leave that much time. Which leads me to believe your work has to be not only a part of your life, but a rewarding and fulfilling part of your life.

Fortunately I live in a country where have options, and although I have a mortgage with no idea how I am going pay this while I study, I refuse to let my direction in life be restricted by finances. When we begin to sacrifice direction and ambition at the hands of finances and obligations, this is what we call ‘The Rat Race’. Not truly loving what we do, but ‘can’t’ afford to change direction.

...I failed just about every subject within high school that I attempted.

The next few years will be hard, financially I’m not sure how on earth i will achieve this. Furthermore I failed at just about every subject within high school that I attempted, so its going to be interesting. I suppose I will be a good case study into finding out if some people are just born average, or if you truly can become more than whats expected. Time will tell.

Visual motivation

The number one new years resolution(or goal) of all time definitely has to be getting fit. Ohh how the gym just entices you in with its promises of toned muscles and great abs. But your dreams never seam to entail the amount of hard work it takes, and how many McDonald's burgers and ice-creams you will have to give up to get to that point. In fact I heard a statistic the other day that said, that the average amount of times a gym member with a year membership goes, is an incredible three times. Wow that gives me hope... its funny how other peoples failure can give you hope sometimes.

Anyway, here's a video clip to help motivate you and me to keep away from fast foods for a while.

M&M's or a Trip around the world

Unknown caller, these missed calls always intrigue me. Its funny how our mind ponders the possibilities of the ‘what it could be’ scenario. As I looked at my phone disappointed in the unknown caller ID notification, my disappointment turned to a feeling of victory as a message popped up. My eyes are squinting at the screen I read ‘1 Voice Mail’.

Voice mail is great because it gives you a choice to respond and ohh how this generation loves choices. As I listened to the voice mail, I was surprised to hear a very cherpy, over excited young ladies voice. Her message… “Hey James, Kate from ZM here. Can you drop me a text when I can call you back.”

“You remember the competition that you entered... you won"

Hearing this, I truly couldn’t think of one reason she could be phoning me. So without much thought I text her back and let her know it was ok to call. No more than a minute latter the phone starts ringing and I pick it up, “James, how are you doing?” “Great” I answered hesitantly. She went on, “You remember the competition that you entered?” Now here was the tricky part, I haven’t entered any competition. But I did however remember that as my wife had spare time at work and struggled to fill this spare time, I asked her to enter as many competitions as possible. “Yes” I said slightly lying but feeling justified because I asked my wife to enter me and her separately (so I kind of entered). “Well you won!” she said in such a way, begging for a reaction.

Now at this stage I was caught in a predicament, how do I respond? First of all I had no idea what the competition was for. For all I knew I could have won a packet of M&M’s, or I could have won a trip around the world. So how do you respond to such a statement? In a most insincere, and uncertain voice I replied “that’s great, thank you.”

But in the absence of actually knowing what I had won I simply stayed quiet, silently urging her to give me more details to understand.

It was at this point that I realized that I was on the radio and she we not getting the response that she wanted. But in the absence of actually knowing what I had won I simply stayed quiet, silently urging her to give me more details to understand. Picking up the clue that she wasn’t going to get much of a show from me, to my appreciation she began explaining what I had won.

She went onto explain that I had won a trip for two to Auckland with transport included. This included a night at a great hotel, breakfast paid for, a trip to the Zoo (I can just imagine the creative team behind that decision, the one person in the meeting that always brings up the odd ideas and finally the team just let the person have their idea… yeah…. great idea... Jimmy… great… well done), and also a trip to see our national rugby league team play Australia (and a lesson in humility upon reflection).

...and realized the incredible opportunity my wife and I now had...

I thanked my new over excited friend Kate and realized the incredible opportunity my wife and I now had to be able to give a weekend, paid for, with entertainment included, to someone who could really do with it. On top of that and best of all, it didn’t have to cost us an arm and a leg.
That night, I called some soon to be parents and close friends and told them we had a chance for them to relax before the hurricane of their first baby came and shook their world to pieces.

What a great way to tick another goal of my list, especially when I thought this one would be soo far off.

Anyway lets end on a lighter more random note, and check out this video of someone pulled up for drinking and forced to take a breathilzer test...

Beauty in Money

I have never liked going to pharmacies. It don’t believe its the pharmacies them selves, I think it’s the mind side of associating them with negative thoughts and feelings. Because lets face it, the only times you go into these places is when things aren’t going very well.

This ordinary night was like any other, but through just these everyday mundane tasks my wife and I were able to witness something quite beautiful. At this time I had been having some quite bad headaches for weeks and weeks on end, and after a large amount of procrastination and moping behavior, my wife convinced me to go to the pharmacy.

...‘overly’ helpful staff that all strive to know about what medical issues you are having and are super glad to talk about it boldly around other customers.

This pharmacy was like any pharmacy you would know, a clean tidy, small, strangely sterile shop with ‘overly’ helpful staff that all strive to know about what medical issues you are having and are super glad to talk about it boldly around other customers.

I often wonder in these moments if I could ever handle being a father.

While browsing the small cluttered products on the shelf, a woman walked into the pharmacy and up to the counter. With weariness in her eyes, and the stress of the day saturating her face and stature, she gave over her prescription. Her drained nature was so tangible, as you watched her two small and obviously sick children, both under ten, complaining and pulling at her trousers.

My wife and I had found the strongest ‘over the counter’ drug we could find for my head, and as we headed to the desk the pharmacist returned with the agitated mothers prescription. As she began to explain the medication instructions of when to give these to her children, you could see the mothers eyes glaze over as she just wanted to get the medication to the kids and get them home and to bed.

Distressed and distracted the young mother quickly realized she did not have enough money to pay...

All of this was just a some what ‘normal’ day as you encounter these sorts of situations each day, but what happened next wasn’t something I generally don’t come across. Once the pharmacist gave the mother the tablets, she tallied up the total amount owing. Distressed and distracted the young mother quickly realized she did not have enough money to pay and began pleading with the pharmacist that she could pay for it tomorrow and she just needed it tonight for her children.

Most people are too humble in these moments, and don’t accept these sorts of offers (no matter how small the amount).

It’s hard to watch these moments. To think this small amount of money can cause so much pain in someone’s life when we waist this sort of thing on a coffee or two, or on a DVD that lasts just two hours. The pharmacist was obligated out of regulation not to give in to this customers request, and the mother was obligated out of her responsibility of being the career for these children to do anything in her power to help them.

we realized we both have witnessed something very beautiful.

In a short breath of time it took the smallest of acts for my wife and I to offer to pay the $10 she couldn’t come up with. Most people are too humble in these moments, and don’t accept these sorts of offers(no matter how small the amount). But you can sense someone’s desperation when the initial shock immediately turns to thanking you as they know they have know other option at the time. Soon as the tears rolled, and the begging to pay us back began, this minuscule amount of money became something much more valuable… we realized we both have witnessed something very beautiful. A small but profoundly easy act of service to help someone in need, what an impact small deeds can do.

… another goal ticked of the list.

T-shirt design - Diamond Rain

Something I have been wanting to do for sometime is to design a t-shirt for a t-shirt company.

I have designed a few over the years but I have never submitted one that can viewed (and criticized) by the public.

So today a short post to say... another one down... I have completed the task of submitting a (womens)t-shirt design to www.threadless.com. Check it out and give me your feed back:

Realistic Expectation

When I was little, my mother would make the best peanut brownie biscuits. The smell of home baking would drift through the corridors and rooms of our house so gently and purposefully towards our unsuspecting senses. The smell would take you by the hand as if by a shy date at your high school ball urging up the courage to hold out their hand and in a slight daze you would half walk, half float towards to the source of the magical aroma.

...take you by the hand as if by a shy date at your high school ball urging up the courage to hold out their hand...

As I entered the sanctuary otherwise known as the kitchen, I expected these mouth watering treats to be laid out and presented with a large and clearly marked note saying 'Eat as many as you want James'. Expectation is a funny thing because without consciously thinking I believed this freshly baked cookie would be in my mouth as long as I could only make it to them in time. It never crossed my mind that for some reason these cookies would not be intended for my taste buds.

Expectation can be so miss-leading and mess with your thinking, have a look at this video below:

Expectation- Should I stay or should I go

As I was saying expectation can be so miss-leading and mess with your thinking. As soon as my entrance was made apparent by my heavy breathing coming down the hall, a firm and loving "no" was presented to my baby blue eyes. Sure I was allowed a cracker or water, but I wanted the cookie. How heart breaking to know that you have fully expected one thing and received another.

Our expectations of ourselves and others won't always live up to what we have in mind.

As my eyes began to water and my small (but rather fast developing) brain was trying to wrap my understanding around what had just happened, I began to learn a principle that we would all carry and journey with into our adulthood. Our expectations of ourselves and others won't always live up to what we have in mind.

Here’s my thought to keep in mind: For me it’s important for my goals (and general desires) to keep my standards and expectations high, to dream and believe for more than I can hope for. But my goals in which are large, long, or some what far out, should always be broken into small step by step goals. Each step does not need to be perceivable now, but as for the step I am on now, I should perceive this and my expectations should be only as high as this step.

Believe and aim big, but believe and expect for doing step one well first.

Believe and aim big, but believe and expect for doing step one well first. Then once step one is done, believe and expect for achieving step two. This will help keep your expectations in check and hopefully help create momentum while helping you celebrate the small achievements well.